The annual retreat, or what happens when you put a Mangalitsa fillet and a switchback road in a blender

This was not a vacation. It was a work trip, and we descended on Budva in two waves.

I drove the first group out of Podgorica in a Skoda, and I would like to formally announce that Montenegro's roads are about to get a quiet word from Nepal, Austria, and Croatia. Narrow, one-way (sometimes a suggestion), overgrown, with semi-trucks reversing down mountains with the casual confidence of someone parallel-parking a Fiat.

The best drive of the week was hip-hop on blast, windows open, the road to Kotor with three colleagues, the four of us forming what I can only describe as the non-Danes club, bonded by personal histories that, at no point, involve rye bread.

Someone else had the wilder assignment. He drove a 50,000-passenger van (it was big) up a hairpin road so aggressive that even a seasoned road warrior admitted his palms were sweating. I was in that van and have never been more grateful I wasn't the one steering.

One colleague price-checked every souvenir stand in the country with Olympic-level negotiator energy. Another walked 40 kilometers into the countryside, unprompted, for funsies. He came back. We did not ask questions.

The food deserves its own paragraph.

We ate fresh fish in Budva, where our server, fully unprompted, instructed me to follow a Ukrainian lingerie Instagram account on behalf of my dog, Magnus Waffles. Magnus had no notes. The account, frankly, was committed.

Farm Carević delivered Mangalitsa fillet to our carnivores, fresh fish for the pescatarian (me), and chicken for the one chicken-iterian among us.

There was also a kneading-dough video that we watched on loop because the dough looked, unmistakably, like boobs. Boob bread. We laughed until we cried. Then we watched it again.

We stocked the house with Danish essentials (bread, cheese, Tuborg) and Nikšićko, the Balkan beer, gone too fast.

Protein was a personality trait this week. Eggs. Tuna. More eggs. Another run to the store for, you guessed it, more eggs. Engineers apparently run on protein, and I have made peace with this. So have my protein goals.

The most diverse table in Denmark

We also worked. The hard conversations happened across dinner tables and switchback drives, which is where most hard conversations belong.

Quick personal aside. We joke that we are the most diverse table in Denmark: more women than men, people from everywhere. As the token American on a properly international group, you learn fast that we are culturally loud and everyone always knows where you are. My heart is also partially Brazilian, which meant mini samba breaks throughout the week, and someone was always willing to join.

I built the team a custom welcome-drinks app using AI, because of course I did. Pomegranates, figs, and peach juice featured. Local wine featured more. Laughing featured most.